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Confirmation to Quit: Check
Walk Away from Security: Check
Unemployed: Check
Wandering in the Desert: Check
Useless and Exhausted: Check
Lost Her ever-loving mind: Check
The first summer that I was unemployed was a time of deep growth spiritually and personally. Crisis can do that to a person. It took about a month for me to stop crying every time I thought of leaving my position and entering into the unknown of following Jesus. Its funny how people think if you are following Christ it will be smooth and peaceful. It was not for me. Anxiety, worry and fear were a constant companion in this season. If you are in a season of transition, I encourage you to stay in and let Jesus sift it through with you.
“Sandi, can you live without an identity?”
These were the words that came through a morning devotional and quiet time with Jesus. Of course, I answered, “Yes, Lord. I can live without an identity.” “Prove it,” God said. I rarely hear God’s audible voice but it was a clear message. Live without an identity. It seemed pretty easy until other people started asking me about my life. What did I do for a living? Why did you quit being a principal? What do you do all day? Don’t you feel lonely? Why are you wasting your degrees? And then the rumors.
Rumors that I was fired.
Rumors that I snapped and lost my mind.
Rumors that I was going to get fired and so I resigned beforehand.
None of these things are true but I felt like I should defend myself, my reputation, my decisions and then, the Lord would remind me, “Can you live without an identity?” Can you live not defending yourself, not reminding people of you degrees or past success or even your decision to quit even though it makes no sense?
When we are in seasons of change, people want to make sense of the senseless. In a divorce, others want to know who was right or wronged, why did it happen etc. Job changes, having babies, not having babies, getting married or not getting married, moving, death of a loved one or even death of a relationship leave us questioning our identity. Can we live without the title of wife, mother, worker, and still be content. Can we endure living without an identity?
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: Ecclesiastes 3:1-14
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
There is a time for everything and season change. Titles change. Focus changes. Purpose changes and perhaps this is your time to evaluate. Can I live without an identity? If the only thing you were known for was loving God and loving others, would that be enough for you?
It is your time to decide where God wants you to go and how He wants you to do it!
Ektenos: Stretch
Heart - Soul - Mind - Strength
We live in the now and the not yet!
In Christ,
Sandi
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